He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
