i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I wish i was in the wii world.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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