He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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