Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
