Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
