id be glad to
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
