i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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