No stitches, just platelets and will power
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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