How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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