so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
