im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
