what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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