their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
