There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
