I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
