You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
