My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
