I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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