We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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