The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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