You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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