just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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