Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
