it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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