so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
