4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
