I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
