Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize