I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
