Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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