Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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