They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
