Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You took a bar mat shot.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
