I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
