u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I want her autograph on my taint
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
