I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize