This girl is more easily done than said...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
