Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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