why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
