yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
