You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
