i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
