the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
