My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
