So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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