last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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