Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
worst night to have a conscience
i came on her dog
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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