I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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