Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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