Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
that is very illegal...i love you.
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