Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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