dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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