No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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