Soap is not a condiment
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
