there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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