I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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