Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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