So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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