i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
No subtext here. People are naked.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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