O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
