There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
