Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
