nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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