Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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