DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
