I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize