wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Boobs speak an international language.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
